I have to let go...it hurts more than you know

You waited til I walked out the door to say, you know I love you right. If you have to even say that then clearly I don't know. You abandoned me, you stood by a perception that was completely wrong. I envied how everyone went to links to help, protect, and listen to his lies. Even you.... you turned your head away from me when I needed you most. I'm not perfect, I have done wrong and I have acknowledged, corrected and came to terms for my wrongs. But I didn't deserve your Abandonment.  It hurts but I'm numb, cause even with all this I've been happier with one's who stayed. If you can't even listen then my heart stopped and flat lined to you. I have the family and friends that I need, love and who stand by ME. It's just hard to say good bye, maybe you will see one day, but then you can't revive that love you abandoned. I have to let go.... if you could only see

Perception

Im a person who believes in forgiveness. I don't believe in the type that says they forgive and they keep bringing up the past every time something goes wrong. To many times that has happened to me and I hated the feeling. People, individuals, can change. A past isn't forgotten but forgiven. So please do not question the people in my life right now, they are here for a reason.

Forgiveness is earned, I do believe. But, a relationship cant move forward until you truly forgive. This chapter of my life has been rough. People questioning my actions or what actions I did not take. Everyone easily jumps to believe, any rumors, because thats who I used to be. They don't pay attention to what my life has been about the past few years. Yes, I have made mistakes as a parent and or an individual. I take responsibility for what I have done wrong. I know, and the true people who have been around me know, what I haven't done. What I have learned the most is that the ones who have stood by me....Who have said 'yes you have made mistakes, but you are not these things' ...... are the ones that really see me. People will only see what they want to see, people will judge and make assumptions from what they hear from others mouths. Perception and judgement will show you quickly who surrounds you. 

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.