Karma

"What is the cause of the inequality that exists among mankind?
Why should one person be brought up in the lap of luxury, endowed with fine mental, moral and physical qualities, and another in absolute poverty, steeped in misery? Why should one person be a mental prodigy, and another an idiot?
Why should one person be born with saintly characteristics and another with criminal tendencies?
Why should some be linguistic, artistic, mathematically inclined, or musical from the very cradle?
Why should others be congenitally blind, deaf, or deformed?
Why should some be blessed, and others cursed from their births?"

In this world nothing happens to a person that for some reason or other deserve. Is this true, we all make the statement 'thats karma". Is it that simple to believe every good or bad we do we get in return. Or do we believe that we simply make our own destiny? I would like to hope that is the case, cause people who know me, know that I hope karma comes back on a few people. But am I wrong for wishing that on someone? As my mom would say: Would that be very Christian like? I have a hard time just waiting for karma to come back on individuals that have done me wrong. Then I am a firm believer that 'everything happens for a reason.' Does that tie into karma? Are we our own architects of our fate, Or are we just little pawns to be moved. Some bad choices that could possibly be good down the road. Its hard to believe in something that you can not understand, whether its christianity, buddhism, etc. Is it bad that I am waiting for the day that person to get there karma, to say I told ya so? What if they dont receive karma, maybe they made up for there wrong doing. Can we cancel out bad karma with good?

Plans

Even with such big changes in my life lately. I am in a mental state that is numinously satisfyiing. I do not know if its cause im gett ing older, well im still not that old, or just increasing family quality of life. I actually look forward to the next day now, I enjoy every minute what life brings. Then I still get scared cause things are so great now, its bound to fall. Im sure I am not the only one who feels this way but what goes up must come down right. I am glad to be isolated from most people, it gives us time concentrate on 'our family.' with this isolation and distance comes the price of not seeing Elecia. Its really hard accepting that I only get to be apart of some of her life. All I know as long as I dont give up and keep making effort it has to pay off in the end. I cant give up, my bio mom gave up and it still hurts til this day. To know that she was that weak to give up on seeing her daughter. Thats the promise I make to Elecia, never give up, im always here.